19 Mar 2012

Not allowed to be sad

Everyone has ups and downs. Most people share this up and down feeling with others, either by frowning on occasion, smiling or actually saying so. Me? I'm not like that. I come across as a happy, smiley person. The majority of the time I am. But like everyone else I have a little dark cloud in my head. Its at the back of my mind most of the time, threatening to start storming with little flashes of lightning. Sometimes it flares up; I get a full blown thunderstorm in my head and this would be me being sad. I usually don't show this because I don't. I'm not a feelings person. This is probably half my fault, half my parents. Everyones parents mess them up, even if they're great parents. Sometimes the smile is just too much to wear and I just feel like looking how I feel, maybe a litter miserable, maybe a little fed up and grumpy. This freaks people out. Am I not allowed to feel a little sad? Can I not have my off day like everyone else? How about a I take an off month, what then? I don't want to talk about it, that's how I am. I'm sure if I did people would cower away from my darkness, run a mile and ask me to put my smile back on.

So what am I doing blogging about it? Like I said, I can't talk about it. Having a little emotional breakdown in the middle of your day is really annoying as you don't get anything done. So I'm using this to try and move through it. I'm posting this for anyone that feels the same way as I find it really reassuring when I read blogposts that relate to me.

3 comments:

  1. <3
    I can 100% relate, trust me, I'm just not very good at putting things into words. I seem to be getting more angst and mood swings than when i was in high school!!
    xxxx

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