'cos it's probably about the right time to do so
seeing as it's uni in a couple of days
and I feel in the right frame of mind...
This Summer has been pretty awesome I have to say. 21st June-24th Sept
I suppose it hasn't consisted of too much, like when people say "what did you get up to?", it doesn't seem like a lot, the generic stuff, shopping, cinema, city break to Amsterdam lol but I didn't get bored, I really didn't. The only week it started to waver was the week after my birthday but even then that wasn't too bad and September has gone quicker than I thought it would.
I think I have actually changed a fair bit this summer. I made a post about sort of 'finding myself' and I think I actually did. I rekindled the love for all the music I listened to when I was 13/14 and it brought back all these old memories. Some of them not good. This I think helped me change my attitude and has made me not give a fuck anymore. Really. I don't. It might sound harsh, but it's a better mentality than the one that gets you pushed around and trodden on.
I think I've got much more independent. I realised why I've become so nocturnal is because I love the alone time I get with it. It may only be a couple of hours with my TV and computer but I do like it. This nocturnal thing should sort itself out at uni seeing as I'll be in a room by myself. But a flat with 6 others lol. And there's other floors.
I think I've sussed out my friends too. Like who is a real friend, who I'm really going to miss and who I'm not really that bothered about. Who I can actually open up too that will listen to what I have to say. This has actually surprised me, but 3 months is a long time, a lot happens. This came a long with my "I don't give a fuck" realisation. This has also helped with my confidence I think. I kinda don't care what other people think of me anymore, and that was always a big issue for me. My clothes don't really reflect this, my style's still all over the place, but I'm ok with that :)
My make up has changed a lot :S And I wear it like every day now. I can't decide if this is good or bad. I think it's a good thing, 'cos I'm not one to rely on it but I do quite like to wear it now and it's ok 'cos I'm not orange :). Also I think 6th form jus' turned me off it because I would have to get up earlier to put it on, and I didn't really care at Chadwell 'cos everyone has known me for so long so wouldn't care either.
So this new me is going to a new city. Living on her own.
I think I'm ready for it :)